[There's no trap. Just Dick trying to right some wrongs and get Jason to stay for a while. Find out how he's doing in some roundabout way that doesn't involve too many questions.
He's terrible at this, but the way they left things was pure shit.]
Yeah, Gar made some eggs and kale juice before he headed out. There's also some leftover cauliflower pizza. It's better the second day.
[ Dick follows after Jason, back to the kitchen, scoffing at the judgement. He'd get judgmental right back, but that's not what he's here to do, and honestly it's nice to see Jason making himself right at home again.
He has more sense than to say that out loud, though. ]
Fine, I caved and got Chinese food last night- but I don't know if that's what you want for breakfast.
[ There's also cereal, or if Jason wants to make his own eggs, no problem. Dick is gonna go to town on this box of coffee right now. ]
Thanks again for the coffee. Hope you didn't have to go too far out of your way.
[ Then again, Jason's here at the Tower. Dick knows how much it must've taken for him to decide to come back here. ]
[Jason considers the Chinese, but goes for the cereal, pouring out a bowl and fishing for milk before leaning back against the counter, a healthy distance between him and Dick, but not a conspicuously giant one. He shrugs.]
I was passing by anyway. I buy weed off the barista there.
[He says it deadpan, but there's a faint smile that says he's joking. Probably.]
[ Dick shifts on his feet, leaning back against the counter opposite Jason as he takes a longer sip of his coffee. He wants to give Jason a lecture so badly right now, but for once he holds his tongue.
Unhelpful, he reminds himself. With Jason, he hasn't been entirely unhelpful. ]
So you have places to stay? You're not just...
[ Out on the street, Dick wants to say, but it twists in his gut.]
[Jason can see the urge to say something rising under Dick's skin, and smirks a little more, but just munches his cereal and lets him stew over his coffee until he actually asks the question.
Then he shrugs.]
I'm not a kid anymore, I don't crash in whatever cardboard box looks comfy. Relax.
[That, and how Jason shrugs it off like it's nothing. He knows that isn't true, but what is he supposed to do? Tell him to come back here? Dick knows they already fucked that one up real good.
He's relieved Jason's keeping in touch with him at all at this point.
But he just can't help himself.]
Your room is still here for you if you want it. Haven't touched a thing.
It wasn't anyone else's, Jason. You were a part of us when we came back here.
[ Dick knows he's toeing a line here, but maybe it needs to be said. Maybe it needs to be out here in a way it never was before. ]
You're still a part of us now. I fucked up. I get it. And you know, maybe the rest of them fucked up too. But you're still in San Fransisco for a reason, right?
I was a homework assignment Bruce gave you. You don't have to bullshit me.
[He is in San Fran, and he's got a few BS excuses for that, sure. But mostly he didn't want to be in Gotham, where Bruce wanted to bench him and he didn't feel like he fit back into his skin as Robin. Not that he'd ever really fit - it'd always been him taking Dick's place - but more than he does now.
Mostly, Jason just doesn't know where the hell to be and Dick's the one who keeps talking to him.]
You don't have to take the blame for every fucking thing, you know. I was the asshole who ran off and got caught by Deathstroke. I'm the one who didn't know I was getting played. Not all you.
Jason... okay, so maybe at first that's how it was. Not a homework assignment, Jason. Just someone who could be a part of us. We were all trying to figure it out back then.
[ Best to be honest here, isn't it? Jason doesn't need words, he needs honesty. Something that they haven't always given each other, but when they did, it worked. ]
You ran off for a reason, and I get it. I didn't blame you. I never blamed you.
[Jason gives him a dubious look and a slight smile. He knows he had been. Dick had picked his team, except for Jason. But he'd been figuring shit out too, that part was true.]
So you've got it figured out now?
[Jason sets the bowl down, arms crossing over his chest in a posture that's meant to be casual but looks defensive.]
You should have. I had the same bat-training as you, I knew better. Could have gotten Gar killed too. So how come you want me back at all?
[ Dick hadn't exactly picked his team. They all just sort of came together, just the same as Jason did when he ended up with them. They all might not want to admit that, but it's the truth. ]
No. I don't. Not even close.
[ Which is admitting more than he'd like to admit, but he's already admitted a lot to Jason, even if the younger man doesn't want to see it. He's the first one Dick opened up to when it came to Deathstroke and Jericho, and then it all fell apart.
He was terrible at talking then, and he's just as terrible now, he's sure of it, but he's trying. He wants to try. ]
You were trying to do exactly what I was always trying to do. Prove myself to Bruce. I'm not Bruce. I don't want to be him and you don't have to be me. I know you know that now. Can't we just be something else?
[ It's not often he sees that look on Jason's face, and he wonders if it means he's getting through to him. Even a little bit would be good. ]
I'm not looking to be perfect. And yeah, I get that I don't need to prove myself to him. Do you?
[ He knows how stuck on Bruce Jason's been, but he also know that Jason was trying to prove himself not only to Bruce, but to him as well. He doesn't want that. ]
Yeah, not really how it works for someone like me. I'm always gonna have to prove myself.
[Jason's Gotham street trash. He's a dime a dozen. He's always had to prove himself to make a place, and he's never not going to have to. It's why he takes coming up short so hard.
He laughs a little.]
Sure. Former Robins on a mission of self discovery. They find out they're not good at shit except kicking ass.
[Jason tilts his head a little and then admits.]
You know I don't get you, right? No one expects you to get anywhere with me, not even Bruce. You've got a team full of people already. Why do you keep wanting me to come back? You don't need shit I can do.
[ He understands that mindset. Not as intensely as Jason does, but he knows what it feels like to drown in the idea of needing to prove himself. It's a shitty thing, and he's not sure how to get Jason past it. Dick knows he already failed Jason once, pretty miserably.
He's not taking the blame. He's trying to own it. ]
You wouldn't have to if everyone gave you an actual chance.
[ But Jason makes it hard, and they never really made the time for it.
Dick looks at him, at how confused Jason is by all of this, and maybe if he were in his position he'd be confused too. Dick knows how terrible he is at talking, at expressing himself. Feelings are not either of their strong suits, and neither is honesty.
Although Jason is being more honest with him now that he ever remembers him being- but maybe it's because they're both here by choice. Whatever it was before, was caught up in so many things. Bruce, responsibilities, excuses. ]
You're one of us, Jason... and somehow, somewhere along the line I fucked that up. We all did. I want to get somewhere with you, not cause Bruce fucking expects it. Not because anyone else does or doesn't. You're still here, right? You're still talking to me even after all that shit. That has to be something.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
for @robintoo
Date: 2021-10-25 07:35 am (UTC)No one's here right now. It's just you and me. No questions.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-25 08:16 am (UTC)Really that hard up for company?
no subject
Date: 2021-10-25 08:24 am (UTC)[A smile is good and he gives one right back, then nods his head towards the kitchen.]
Stay for a little while.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-25 09:06 am (UTC)Yeah, okay. You got anything to eat?
no subject
Date: 2021-10-25 03:54 pm (UTC)He's terrible at this, but the way they left things was pure shit.]
Yeah, Gar made some eggs and kale juice before he headed out. There's also some leftover cauliflower pizza. It's better the second day.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-26 03:20 pm (UTC)Well it couldn't get WORSE on the second day.
[He grumbled and started to try to look around for something normal. Like cereal or eggs that didn't come into contact with kale juice.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-26 03:28 pm (UTC)He has more sense than to say that out loud, though. ]
Fine, I caved and got Chinese food last night- but I don't know if that's what you want for breakfast.
[ There's also cereal, or if Jason wants to make his own eggs, no problem. Dick is gonna go to town on this box of coffee right now. ]
Thanks again for the coffee. Hope you didn't have to go too far out of your way.
[ Then again, Jason's here at the Tower. Dick knows how much it must've taken for him to decide to come back here. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-26 03:37 pm (UTC)I was passing by anyway. I buy weed off the barista there.
[He says it deadpan, but there's a faint smile that says he's joking. Probably.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-26 03:59 pm (UTC)You do not.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-27 05:15 pm (UTC)Nah. I was around to talk to a guy who owes me a favor and still keeps an ear out in Gotham. My weed guy delivers.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-27 05:36 pm (UTC)Where does he deliver to these days?
[ He asks instead, because he wants to know Jason's actually got a place to stay. ]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-27 06:07 pm (UTC)Wherever I'm staying.
[He's not getting regular deliveries, so he's full of it. But he's not staying in any one place, either.]
no subject
Date: 2021-10-27 06:15 pm (UTC)Unhelpful, he reminds himself. With Jason, he hasn't been entirely unhelpful. ]
So you have places to stay? You're not just...
[ Out on the street, Dick wants to say, but it twists in his gut.]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-06 06:12 am (UTC)Then he shrugs.]
I'm not a kid anymore, I don't crash in whatever cardboard box looks comfy. Relax.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-06 03:14 pm (UTC)[That, and how Jason shrugs it off like it's nothing. He knows that isn't true, but what is he supposed to do? Tell him to come back here? Dick knows they already fucked that one up real good.
He's relieved Jason's keeping in touch with him at all at this point.
But he just can't help himself.]
Your room is still here for you if you want it. Haven't touched a thing.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 01:44 am (UTC)[Jason's teasing, and it's obvious he's not serious.
But he knows what Dick's fishing for, and where he's going before he gets there. He looks away again.]
Yeah, wasn't really mine to start with, not really mine now.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 01:50 am (UTC)[ Dick knows he's toeing a line here, but maybe it needs to be said. Maybe it needs to be out here in a way it never was before. ]
You're still a part of us now. I fucked up. I get it. And you know, maybe the rest of them fucked up too. But you're still in San Fransisco for a reason, right?
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 01:58 am (UTC)I was a homework assignment Bruce gave you. You don't have to bullshit me.
[He is in San Fran, and he's got a few BS excuses for that, sure. But mostly he didn't want to be in Gotham, where Bruce wanted to bench him and he didn't feel like he fit back into his skin as Robin. Not that he'd ever really fit - it'd always been him taking Dick's place - but more than he does now.
Mostly, Jason just doesn't know where the hell to be and Dick's the one who keeps talking to him.]
You don't have to take the blame for every fucking thing, you know. I was the asshole who ran off and got caught by Deathstroke. I'm the one who didn't know I was getting played. Not all you.
[It didn't actually answer anything.]
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 02:12 am (UTC)[ Best to be honest here, isn't it? Jason doesn't need words, he needs honesty. Something that they haven't always given each other, but when they did, it worked. ]
You ran off for a reason, and I get it. I didn't blame you. I never blamed you.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 02:45 am (UTC)So you've got it figured out now?
[Jason sets the bowl down, arms crossing over his chest in a posture that's meant to be casual but looks defensive.]
You should have. I had the same bat-training as you, I knew better. Could have gotten Gar killed too. So how come you want me back at all?
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 03:03 am (UTC)No. I don't. Not even close.
[ Which is admitting more than he'd like to admit, but he's already admitted a lot to Jason, even if the younger man doesn't want to see it. He's the first one Dick opened up to when it came to Deathstroke and Jericho, and then it all fell apart.
He was terrible at talking then, and he's just as terrible now, he's sure of it, but he's trying. He wants to try. ]
You were trying to do exactly what I was always trying to do. Prove myself to Bruce. I'm not Bruce. I don't want to be him and you don't have to be me. I know you know that now. Can't we just be something else?
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 03:36 am (UTC)Yeah ... guess that makes two of us.
[He's been lost and scraping by most of his life, except for those few years with Bruce. But those feel like an illusion in hindsight.]
You get that you don't need to now, right? The old man thinks you're pretty perfect, screwups or not.
[Jason licks his lips uneasily and taps his fingers restlessly on his own arm.]
Yeah well, what else is there to be?
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 06:46 am (UTC)I'm not looking to be perfect. And yeah, I get that I don't need to prove myself to him. Do you?
[ He knows how stuck on Bruce Jason's been, but he also know that Jason was trying to prove himself not only to Bruce, but to him as well. He doesn't want that. ]
If you stick around, maybe we can find out.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 07:34 am (UTC)Yeah, not really how it works for someone like me. I'm always gonna have to prove myself.
[Jason's Gotham street trash. He's a dime a dozen. He's always had to prove himself to make a place, and he's never not going to have to. It's why he takes coming up short so hard.
He laughs a little.]
Sure. Former Robins on a mission of self discovery. They find out they're not good at shit except kicking ass.
[Jason tilts his head a little and then admits.]
You know I don't get you, right? No one expects you to get anywhere with me, not even Bruce. You've got a team full of people already. Why do you keep wanting me to come back? You don't need shit I can do.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-07 10:36 pm (UTC)He's not taking the blame. He's trying to own it. ]
You wouldn't have to if everyone gave you an actual chance.
[ But Jason makes it hard, and they never really made the time for it.
Dick looks at him, at how confused Jason is by all of this, and maybe if he were in his position he'd be confused too. Dick knows how terrible he is at talking, at expressing himself. Feelings are not either of their strong suits, and neither is honesty.
Although Jason is being more honest with him now that he ever remembers him being- but maybe it's because they're both here by choice. Whatever it was before, was caught up in so many things. Bruce, responsibilities, excuses. ]
You're one of us, Jason... and somehow, somewhere along the line I fucked that up. We all did. I want to get somewhere with you, not cause Bruce fucking expects it. Not because anyone else does or doesn't. You're still here, right? You're still talking to me even after all that shit. That has to be something.