( He wasn't expecting to hear that first part. You know, the whole Babs not actually thinking he's an unstable psychopath and honestly Jason wouldn't be able to blame her for thinking that. He was, sort of. Wasn't everyone who came under Bruce's care? Problem wasn't that Jason dismissed it, though. The problem was that he couldn't believe it. And maybe things would have ended the same way whether or not the Titans actually gave him a fucking chance.
And you know, that's sort of what he'd been thinking about lately. During this whole getting clean bullshit. Just how inevitable it all fucking was. Like he said on the ledge of that roof. And he was ready to walk, he really was. Jason just has this curse that follows him around and its not any supernatural garbage, its him. It's just who he fucking is. As a person.
And that was kind of hard to swallow but he always knew it. Why else did he do all the stupid shit he did? In the midst of all this, his hardcore zoning out and chain-smoking, Dick's question knocked him out of it. hard to hide from all the shit when your head is swarming and you can't be as active as you usually are due to withdrawal. )
No, she doesn't hate you. But yeah, what if I am? ( At least, even though he did just zone the fuck out it was a lot less drug-induced and a lot more I'm going through withdrawal and facing a bunch of my personal thoughts about myself. Which was a lot more alive and himself than he'd been in some time.
More on that later: Dick justβ well he didn't agree but he also didn't disagree. Jason peered back over to him. ) Some people deserve to die, Dick. Joker deserved to die. ( He's quiet about that one for a moment because, you know, never would Jason have believed Bruce would ever do something like that. For him. It was... shocking. But he was thankful, and maybe it was part of what helped him heal a lot faster than he might have. Horrible as that was to say. ) You, Bats, the rest of them all. You can have the weirdos. Calendar Man's in your arena, have at it. Go mad with Mad Hatter, I don't give a shit. They get in my way, I might have a problem. Otherwise, whatever.
The mobsters, though? People who prey on the disenfranchised and mentally unwell, use kids, and pump drugs into low-income homes. Those guys are mine, Dick.
[ Dick's not so sure it was all inevitable. He knows he could have done better in a lot of ways, but especially with Jason. If he had, would they still be here on the other side of a war zone? If the rest of the Titans had given Jason a chance, would it have gotten this bad? He's not sure, but in the end it doesn't matter. They can't change it. All they can do is go from here, and he wants to be here this time.
Some might say it's too late, but Dick doesn't think so. He knows it's not, just based on the fact that they're both sitting here together tonight, talking about all of this.
What if I am? Jason asks, and Dick wonders. What would he do? He knows what Babs would do, but would he do the same? He lets out a long sigh, grabbing the milkshake to take a sip, then sets it back down in front of Jason. He's quiet as Jason explains himself, and it all seems so much more rational than anything the other has said in a long time. He's quiet for even longer than that, mulling it over in his head. ]
You remember when Trigon was here, inside our heads, showing us our darkest paths? You were there in mine, coming to ask for help, trying to get me to come back to Gotham so I could stop Bruce from killing the Joker. I did go back to try and stop him but it was all too late. He killed Joker, he stormed Arkham and he killed everyone there too. He was almost unstoppable and in the end I killed him to stop him. But that wasn't the reality of it and it won't ever be. It's not that black and white. I get that.
You and I, we've been on both sides of this- life and death- and I know what it's like to come out on the other side. That's why I came to find you, and that's why I'm going to tell you this. I don't like it, I don't agree with it, but I'm not going to stand in your way.
But Jason... think about your lines. The ones you draw for yourself. Don't cross them. All of that can get blurry real fast, and you know where that gets us.
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And you know, that's sort of what he'd been thinking about lately. During this whole getting clean bullshit. Just how inevitable it all fucking was. Like he said on the ledge of that roof. And he was ready to walk, he really was. Jason just has this curse that follows him around and its not any supernatural garbage, its him. It's just who he fucking is. As a person.
And that was kind of hard to swallow but he always knew it. Why else did he do all the stupid shit he did? In the midst of all this, his hardcore zoning out and chain-smoking, Dick's question knocked him out of it. hard to hide from all the shit when your head is swarming and you can't be as active as you usually are due to withdrawal. )
No, she doesn't hate you. But yeah, what if I am? ( At least, even though he did just zone the fuck out it was a lot less drug-induced and a lot more I'm going through withdrawal and facing a bunch of my personal thoughts about myself. Which was a lot more alive and himself than he'd been in some time.
More on that later: Dick justβ well he didn't agree but he also didn't disagree. Jason peered back over to him. ) Some people deserve to die, Dick. Joker deserved to die. ( He's quiet about that one for a moment because, you know, never would Jason have believed Bruce would ever do something like that. For him. It was... shocking. But he was thankful, and maybe it was part of what helped him heal a lot faster than he might have. Horrible as that was to say. ) You, Bats, the rest of them all. You can have the weirdos. Calendar Man's in your arena, have at it. Go mad with Mad Hatter, I don't give a shit. They get in my way, I might have a problem. Otherwise, whatever.
The mobsters, though? People who prey on the disenfranchised and mentally unwell, use kids, and pump drugs into low-income homes. Those guys are mine, Dick.
no subject
Some might say it's too late, but Dick doesn't think so. He knows it's not, just based on the fact that they're both sitting here together tonight, talking about all of this.
What if I am? Jason asks, and Dick wonders. What would he do? He knows what Babs would do, but would he do the same? He lets out a long sigh, grabbing the milkshake to take a sip, then sets it back down in front of Jason. He's quiet as Jason explains himself, and it all seems so much more rational than anything the other has said in a long time. He's quiet for even longer than that, mulling it over in his head. ]
You remember when Trigon was here, inside our heads, showing us our darkest paths? You were there in mine, coming to ask for help, trying to get me to come back to Gotham so I could stop Bruce from killing the Joker. I did go back to try and stop him but it was all too late. He killed Joker, he stormed Arkham and he killed everyone there too. He was almost unstoppable and in the end I killed him to stop him. But that wasn't the reality of it and it won't ever be. It's not that black and white. I get that.
You and I, we've been on both sides of this- life and death- and I know what it's like to come out on the other side. That's why I came to find you, and that's why I'm going to tell you this. I don't like it, I don't agree with it, but I'm not going to stand in your way.
But Jason... think about your lines. The ones you draw for yourself. Don't cross them. All of that can get blurry real fast, and you know where that gets us.